It’s bin done, it’s over, finito.
Strange how a person’s mind works, At one hand I can understand it completely,
on the other hand it stays a mistery that can’t be solved. A perfect riddle..

I stayed at my parents home for a week.
A week and a half ago I collapsed under all the presure I was on.
Presure from work, but also the presure I was putting myself on.
It was never enough and working was all I did every day, 7 days a week.
5 or 6 days in real life, 7 days in my head. I couldn’t take it anymore and now it’s bin done..
It’s so scary that you can lose yourself completely and don’t know where to find yourself again.

I keep it simple, I’m lost..
I keep it difficult, want to find myself, but don’t know how..
I’m scared, I’m tired, I’m emo, I’m agressive, I’m crying, I’m laughing, I’m strange, I’m difficult..
Who am I?

Back after a week with not much to say.
Working is all I do and nothing more. I’m drowning myself,
but don’t have a clue how to stop that.
I haven’t got much to do besides working,
I can’t get a good sleep and friends are busy..
The strangest thing is that I feel desperately alone,
but I don’t feel like hanging out either.

It’s hard to explain, but feeling lonely but don’t feel
like hanging out isn’t a good combo..
You’re in need of attention, but on the other hand
you can be annoyed by people when you get attention.
Guess it has to do with the kind of people who are “bothering” you..

Yesterday I had a good talk with a friend of mine about work,
and specially about working too much.
Later that evening I had a good conversation
with a bunch of friends about our selfimage.
The video’s on MTV and TMF with like 99%
of naked “hot” women is not egoboosting…
Just like the adverts about slimming down and
losing your cellulite, while watching women who
are like a skeleton and don’t even live with the
problem of losing fat or cellulite.
But the conversation was nice, it gave me another
point of view…
Especially without a screen between us..

Now I just wanna be alone again, or not..

Beatsteaks, German punkband, started out in ‘95..
I like them very much…check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatsteaks form more info